East of Nowhere
by Inconcessus
Summary: Bella never reached Forks. Instead, she was thrown into an adventure of unimaginably horrific proportions. What seems an easy path to regaining her life, becomes an impossible quest to retain her sanity and to tell reality from dream. The psychotic blonde man who is determined to join her on her journey isn't much help, either.
1. Prologue: Crash

"I think you're gonna be happy here, Bells", Charlie mumbled, as he guided the car along the slick road at an appropriately legal speed. Enormous green trees, large rocks covered in green moss, the environment was almost overpoweringly _green_. But I knew that. I had known about the utter _greenness _of Forks, the cold, the rain, the hideous snow. I also knew that Charlie had become a lonely man while I remained in Phoenix with mom. That partly contributed to the move, in addition to Renee and Phil's long deserved break from my presence. They were newlyweds, after all. It wasn't like I was sacrificing myself to a damp, morose, eventual death in Forks. It would only be until graduation, when I would go somewhere intensely sunny and forget about my time in the dreary little town.

But I loved my dad, and Charlie really did deserve to see me more than once a year. So, this would be my present to him. Only a year or two in my unobtrusive presence, and he'd be set for another decade. It wasn't all that long, and Forks was not as hideously boring as Renee had described it. I really used to like it here before Renee advised Charlie to holiday elsewhere with me instead. No, it wouldn't be too bad. I might even like it here. Maybe, God forbid, I could even be happy – make some friends, and be a normal teenager.  
I turned my head to face Charlie and offered him a timid smile.

"You know what, Dad? I think you might be right."  
Charlie gave me a wide grin in response, turning away from the road for only a second. He was a brilliant driver. He had to be, in his job – it just wouldn't do for the Chief to go around and break road rules. Always staying within the lines, never exceeding the speed limit, rarely ever taking his eyes off the road. I had never felt anything but safe in Charlie's car. This is probably why it came as such a surprise to the both of us, when we were hit by the truck.

We were flying. The truly massive logging truck had hit the side of the cruiser, and we were currently being catapulted across the road. Flipping, tumbling, turning, screaming. Charlie was gripping my hand with the strength of a giant, and I was giving it back twice as much. I was terrified – we both were. In this freefalling moment, while the cruiser was soaring through the misty air like an eagle, my mind was gloriously clear.  
I can see Renee, smiling. Charlie, teaching me how to fish. Even Phil, learning the hard way how utterly uncoordinated I could be, as a baseball flew straight at his head. This was my life. In some standards, it was completely and utterly boring. But it was _my _life, and I was happy with how I had spent it. Who knows, maybe Forks held something bigger for me. Something that I would now, probably never get to experience. Graduation, friends, maybe even love. With my luck, I was probably destined to meet a beautiful man, and ride off into the sunset with him after finishing school. Children, and grandchildren, and travelling the world. All of these things that I could never have.  
With a snap, I was back in the moment. The cruiser finally made impact, slamming into the asphalt with a sickening crunch. Charlie was dead when we hit. My death came much more slowly. I could feel it – my bones snapping and warping around each other, my face getting pulverized against the windscreen. Shards of glass were embedded in my chest and stomach, and my right arm was trapped against my side, while my left had been severed completely.

Oddly, I could feel no pain. I waited, I kept waiting for the light that everyone said would come. But it never did. I remained there, trapped and torn apart. Probably unrecognizable. Something must have really messed up my ears, because all I could here was a slow, even beeping. But it was getting louder. And faster, and closer, and overpowering. With the sound, came the quick rush of darkness, and loss of consciousness. Obviously, this was my death.

I breathed in one last time, choking on the blood that had congealed in my throat. A disgusting gurgle resulted from the sound. Moving my eyes to take one last look at Charlie's still body, I accepted my fate. I steeled myself, closed my eyes, and woke up.


	2. The Howling Desert

**Well, hey there. Obviously if you've made it past the first bit, you've got a little bit of interest in the story. This'll probably ruin it for you.  
**_  
_**This disclaimer can go for the entire story. I do not, and I never have or will, owned Twilight. That's all Meyer's. This hasn't gained its M rating yet, but it certainly will - fair warning. **

_Ah, fuck it's hot._

It was completely dark. Black as pitch, not even the moon or stars could be seen in the stretching, inky darkness. I was blind. That was the only possible explanation. Somehow, my eyes had gotten damaged and I had lost my sight. I was destined to remain in the dark for the rest of my life. How was I supposed to do anything? How was I even meant to _live?_ This is absu-

_OPENYOUREYESOPENYOUREYESOPEN YOUREYESOPENYOUREYESOPENOPEN OPENOPENOPENOPEN_

My lids snapped open, pained by the sudden influx of sunlight. The voice was gone, the shiver-inducing whisper that was somehow screaming. I was sprawled on a filthy leather seat – apparently in the back of a car. The leather was brown, cracked, and covered with my sweat. My legs – which had previously been encased in denim – were bare and stuck to the seat with a vengeance. That slight change to my wardrobe brought my attention to the rest of my body. Gone were the warm and comfortable clothes that I had worn when I boarded the plane in Phoenix. Now, I was dressed in a thin cloth shift, stained with red dust, and what seemed to be dried, dirty blood. My usually long and silky hair was matted and tangled, bunched behind me in a mane to rival that of a lion.  
I raised myself up and off the seat and squinted at my surroundings. I was in the backseat of a old, rusted police cruiser. The interior had been torn to pieces, both driver and passenger seats removed, with only the back one remaining. Creepy figurines and dream catchers hung from the rearview mirror and the steering wheel, and the windows had been smashed inwards, which left shards of glass scattered across the metal floor. Basically, it was a piece of junk. I stretched my arms outwards, relishing in the snap and pop of my joints, and slid to the left side of the car, to look out through the window.

I was in the middle of the desert. All that I could see was flat, cracked, sand. No Cacti, no shrubs, no trees. _Nothing. _I scrambled around the car, looking in every possible direction. Absolutely nothing. No people, no sign of civilization whatsoever. Nothing but the three suns burning high in the sky, and…

_Wait. _

Three suns. That can't be right. I rubbed my eyes vigorously with my knuckles, and checked again. Yep. Three separate suns, all in a row. No _wonder _it was so unbelievably freaking hot. I could feel my skin scorching beneath their rays, and was consoled by the idea of at least getting a tan out of this experience.

It was then that I realized that something was missing. I can't have just woken up in the middle of nowhere, in a goddamn police cruiser of all places. Which led me to the question. How did I get here? More importantly… Who the hell _was _I?  
No, that isn't the right question. I knew who I was. I had a personality, I knew that I was 17, and knew that I was at the very least passably intelligent. But beyond that, was nothing. Not even a blank, deep abyss that was usually in the minds of people with amnesia. Whatever happened before the moment I woke up on the seat of the filthy car did not matter. It was if I was born ten minutes ago, onto that cracked leather seat. With a ready-made personality and demeanor. I didn't even know my _name_, for Christ sake. I _knew _that there was supposed to be one sun in the sky – but I didn't know why. I had no idea where I had gotten that knowledge. In any case, my head was starting to pound from trying to find a reason behind my situation. It was probably best to just relax, and let it go. Accept it, and move on. I could do that. Easily.  
First on the agenda, would be to establish just where I _was_. Because I hadn't the slightest idea. I took three steps back from the car, very aware of the scorching sand on my delicate feet. Just as I was about to run back to the car for reprieve from the heat, I became aware of a sound in the distance. A low, screaming noise. Almost like… Like a train whistling as it sped along the tracks. I spun wildly, trying to figure out which direction it could possibly be coming from. I randomly chose a trajectory, and started sprinting. I was running full pelt away from the suns, when I tripped.  
My foot caught on something lodged in the sand, and my face smacked into the ground before the rest of my body. I stayed down for a while, trying to spit all of the gritty sand out of my mouth. Finally having succeeded, I raised my head, only to come face to face – figuratively – with a bleached skull.

I flung myself backwards, only to come into contact with more bones. I got to my feet, and looked around. In the distance, there was still the cruiser that I had woken up in. It resided in a circle of clear sand, no body parts to be found. But, like there was some sort of invisible wall, there was a sudden change from plain desert, to a junkyard of bones. Spines, skulls, and ribs. Snapped, complete, or eroded. A surely impossible amount of skeletons, all scattered across the terrain as far as my eyes could see. I looked to my feet, and saw my toes digging into the sand, accompanied by the skull from earlier, staring up at me. I shuddered, and took a step back. This only resulted in my feet crushing the delicate ribcage of a child. I retched, and turned in the direction that I had originally been travelling. With that, I started running again.

This time, I was all too aware of the bones crunching beneath my bare feet. A sick part of me was thankful that they provided some protection from the heated sand, but I tried to ignore it. My legs and lungs burned with an indescribable fire, but I ran.

_Water._

I had slowed to a walk long ago, from fear that I would collapse on the spot. My calves and thighs were on fire, screaming with every step I took. No longer did I care that I was crushing the brittle bones that littered the desert, all I cared about was finding a place to die. I was close, I could feel it. My tongue was swollen and my lips were cracked. My heart was beating at a sluggish pace, and I had stopped sweating hours ago. Now, my pores were clogged and my skin was greased up like bacon.

_Oh my God, I would kill a kitten for bacon._

The train whistle had neither increased nor decreased in volume. It still rang out steady in the distance, just begging to be found. I looked in every direction, and could no longer see the cruiser. I was lost. Not that there was anything to be found, but that car had been like a mother to me. A safe haven, the first thing I could remember – something solid in this confusing place. I closed my eyes, and continued my trudge forward. This continued for an indeterminable amount of time. Me, stumbling along in the biggest cemetery in the world, with my eyes shut to the glare of the _three fucking suns in the sky. _Which didn't even make any sense. I wanted _one _sun. That made perfect sense. I was brought out of my thoughts by the feeling of my body colliding with hot, rough metal. Civilization!

I opened my eyes, preparing an elated squeal for my new surroundings, when I was greeted with the innocent, rusted police cruiser. I was back where I started. I had been walking in an enormous circle. With my eyes closed, I hadn't been able to keep the suns behind me.

Useless. All for nothing. I was too dehydrated to even cry, and an attempt at a frustrated shout only made a deathly croak. Fuck. Fuck, shit, fuckity shit fuck. I sank to the ground, and curled my aching limbs up into a ball. I was giving up. I was dying. It would be stupid to resist – and I didn't care. I was happy to die, I wanted to. I was sick of walking, anyway. I was _tired_. I closed my eyes again, and let the corners of my mouth turn up in a smile. Peace, at last.

The whistling was growing steadily louder. Louder, and harder to ignore. It was deafening now, and I could feel the ground shaking with the force of the train. I moaned, and tried to ignore it. Almost as if it had decided to go completely against my wishes, the train added squealing brakes to the loud whistle. The brakes were grinding against the tracks, throwing up a hideous shrieking that threatened to take away any hope that I would be able to hear in the future.

Suddenly, all sounds stopped. Nothing. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Silence, except for my tortured, ragged breathing. Just my breathing, and… Footsteps on the ground. I ignored the screaming complaints from my body and flung myself in the direction of the footsteps. I hit some legs, and clung to them like they were a lifeboat in a storm. With effort, I split open the gummed lids of my eyes and looked up at the owner of the legs. He was a fatherly looking man, with kind eyes and a nicely groomed moustache. He looked oddly familiar, and I found myself trusting him instantly. I fought through the dizzying pain of my throat and mouth, and croaked a quiet "hello".

The man smiled, and quickly responded.  
"Hey, kid. What's your name?"

I smiled, embarrassed. The action made my chapped lips crack and no doubt bleed, but the man showed no signs of disgust. "I don't know, sir…" I mumbled, "I don't know who I am".  
He merely grinned.  
"Of course you don't! What a silly question. More importantly, I'm the Conductor. Lovely to meet you, ma'am".  
He was dressed in the uniform of an old-school conductor, striped overalls with big brass buttons. He bowed with his introduction, and offered me a hand.  
"Need a ride, kid?"

I finally took notice of our surroundings, which included the colossal train behind the Conductor. It was humongous, shiny black steel and big metal gratings that belched thick smog. Directly behind him, was a closed door, locked with a padlock. I looked back to the man, and smiled again.

"That would be _great_," I confessed, "I've been looking for this train for as long as I can remember. It feels like I've been here for a lifetime. Where am I? And where is the train going?"

He chuckled, showing his amusement at my barrage of questions.

"You're everywhere, and nowhere sweetheart. Behind the moon, and beyond the rain… Halfway to yesterday and back. Where you are, dear child, is many, many miles east of nowhere. As for the train, well… I can't really say. It goes all over the place, through the universe, and beyond. We're going to infinity. But, I'm afraid you might not want to come with us…" He trailed off with a sad expression on his kind face, and patted my shoulder.

I scoffed, "Why on earth would I not want to go with you? I'm going to _die _out here!"  
He adopted a kindly, soothing face.

"No, you won't. You have a choice, see. Two options. Would you like to hear them?"  
I blinked up at him, and replied.  
"Yes. Yes, I would very much like to hear them".

"You can stay here, in the Howling Desert. Which doesn't sound that appealing, I know. Or, you can come with me on the Infernal Train. We're travelling up the eternity line, have been for quite some time now".  
I stared up at him, incredulous.

"Why on earth would I choose to stay here?"  
The Conductor smiled indulgently, and shook his head.

"There's a catch. If you choose to stay here, you'll be healed of all your injuries. You can roam the desert for the rest of your existence, never tiring, never getting hungry. I'm offering you immortality. You will never die, you won't need for anything ever again. Other people will move through here, you might even see them if you're lucky. Some will make the choice to stay, others will come with me. You can never board the train again. This is your _only _chance".  
I nodded, showing that I understood.  
"And if I choose to go with you?"

The Conductor smiled.  
"Oh, that's the easy one. You hop on, and start your adventure through time itself".  
I grinned, and immediately gave my answer.

"Oh, I want to come with you!"  
His smile grew wider still.

"One catch. To board the train, you have to do something first. If you want to come aboard, you have to buy a ticket. And it isn't cheap".  
I frowned in response.

"I don't have any money. How much is it?"

The Conductor laughed.  
"Oh honey, it won't cost you riches. A simple blood offering would suffice. That's the catch, see. If you want to board the Infernal train, you have to die first".

My mouth was opening and closing soundlessly. Blood. Death. It sounded very painful. But wouldn't that be so much preferable to staying here, more or less alone for eternity? I was close to dying anyway, it wouldn't take that much more to end me. And I got to catch the train, I got to travel to _infinity_. How goddamn _fun _did that sound? The Howling Desert was a shitty place to live. The Infernal train sounded so much more interesting. And with that rather vapid observation, my decision was made.

"I want to board the train. How do I do it? How do I die?"

The Conductor was smiling gently, now. He touched a hand to my throat, feeling for a pulse.

"It's already done, dear. Don't you remember, Bella? Don't you remember the crash?"

_Charlie was dead when we hit. My death came much more slowly. I could feel it – my bones snapping and warping around each other, my face getting pulverized against the windscreen. Shards of glass were embedded in my chest and stomach, and my right arm was trapped against my side, while my left had been severed completely._

I gasped, tears now running down my face.

"Charlie. It's you. Charlie. Dad".

Charlie patted my shoulder.

"Don't know what you're talking about, kiddo. I'm the Conductor. Anyway, are you ready to board? Time's a'wastin'. We don't have forever, you know," he chuckled.  
"Well… We kind of do. But anyway, are you ready?"

I stared at the conductor, tears now dry. I could feel it now. No pulse, nothing. I was cold. I was so very cold. I couldn't feel, I couldn't breathe, and I couldn't live. I was dead. He passed me an exquisitely decorated ticket, with one punch in the shape of a skull in the upper right corner.

"Valid one journey, Bella. Don't you dare lose it, that would be a worse fate than death. Once you're on, there's no getting off. Unless the Driver gives his say so, that is. Are you ready?"

I nodded, clutching the ticket to my chest. He bowed, and the padlock fell off the door. It swung open, revealing an inky darkness that my eyes could not penetrate. A single hand stretched towards me, encased in a white glove. It closed gently around my wrist, warm and comforting. The ConductorCharlie raised his head to wink at me, and I was wrenched into the carriage.

**Cool. Review, if you like. I'd like. I'd like very much.**


	3. The Infernal Train

**Short chapters at the moment, I know... But once I've established some sense of what's going on, they'll get longer.**

It was like passing through a veil. The gloved hand pulled me into the darkness, and I came out the other side into the carriage. I was aboard the Infernal train – what an absurd thing to say. The carriage was stylishly decorated, with patterned wallpaper, red velvet curtains and even hanging chandeliers. There were rows upon rows of bench seats – in pairs, facing each other over gleaming cherry wood tables. The carriage seemed to stretch on forever, leading me to believe that the train was just one entire carriage, never ending… Travelling to infinity.

Thousands of people were milling around, smiling and laughing… And dead. Each and every one of them – corpses. I could see their wounds; they were all decorated with their killing blows. Slit throats, waterlogged bulbous mouths, and one man in particular whose skin was melted to the bone. I wondered how I looked. I weaved my way through a group of suicides – gunshot wounds mutilating the back of their heads so that I could see their brains – and came to an ornate gold mirror.

Put simply, I was… Disgusting. My skin was paler than it normally was, and mutilated. Shards of glass still stuck out from my torso, buried deep within my skin. Almost the entire left side of my face was missing, torn up and smashed into an unrecognizable pulp. Bones had clearly been broken all over my body. My shoulder was dislocated and sitting at an odd angle, the opposite side to the arm that was completely missing. The skin had been severed messily, ripped off. Parts of my ribs had punctured my chest, and were poking through the skin. The cloth shift that had been relatively messy to begin with was now almost entirely stained with my blood. I had no oozing wounds, though. Obviously, since my heart had long ceased beating, there was nothing pumping it through.

To be honest, I had expected to feel more shock. But at the moment, I was feeling very apathetic towards everything. It probably came with the whole premise of being dead, come to think of it. Not to mention, I was feeling no pain whatsoever. I had tilted my head, and was inspecting myself in the mirror, when I caught sight of the most beautiful man I had ever seen.  
He walked behind me in the reflection, and was gone. I spun, trying to ignore the unsettling sensation of the missing weight where my arm used to be. From the back, he was gorgeous. Blond, waved hair – the color of honey, and sunshine. He was tall and muscled, but not overly so, his body was lean… And _tanned_. I completely took back my previous statement about apathy. I wanted this… This man. He was far from a boy, no… He was most definitely a _man_, and I wanted him desperately. Determined not to lose him in the mass of corpses, I threaded my way through the chattering crowds, following the blond head that stood above most people. I was getting closer, so very close to being able to stretch out my hand and touch his muscled back, delectably covered with a tightly stretched white shirt, when he disappeared. Suddenly, he was just gone. I whirled quickly, desperately glancing around the carriage to try and find him. People were pushing against me, laughing and shouting in joy. The blond man was gone, absolutely nowhere to be found. I dropped my head in disappointment, pretty much ready to just go and sit down and be morose for a while, when a throaty chuckle sounded right by my ear. I turned, coming to face the blond man. He was even more beautiful from the front – his honey toned hair hung down over his eyes, which were a piercing deep blue. He had sharp cheekbones with a strong jaw, and a wicked smile with sweet dimples.

"Why hello there," he drawled in an intoxicating southern accent, very obviously exaggerated. I couldn't find it in myself to care however, as his voice did unspeakable things to me. I smiled goofily in response, and ducked my head.

"Hi," I muttered, looking at my feet. My view was obstructed by long, delicate fingers that raised my chin until I was looking at him. He smiled again, revealing gleaming white, straight teeth.

"Lovely to meet you, darlin'. Pray tell, what's your name?" I giggled, which was just so _un-Bella._ I glanced up at the man shyly from under my lashes, which was when I realized the state that I was in. Oh my God, I was _hideous._ I tried to extract my chin from his fingers without dropping any brain gunk on him, but he wasn't having a bar of it. Once confronted with my mutilated state, I came to be aware that he was absolutely flawless. Not in the attractive sense, although that was certainly part of it… No, he had no death mark to speak of. Nothing whatsoever. He was clean, and the tanned skin I had been drooling over earlier was a clear indication of just now… _not _dead he was. I was now watching him suspiciously, as I raised a single gore covered hand and brought it to rest over his heart.

_Thumpthump. Thumpthump._

I was shocked. He was alive. On the train that you had to die to board, he was alive.  
Wary of drawing people's attention, less they take this anomaly from me; I grabbed his hand – all shyness gone. I dragged him with me to a small booth, and shoved him into it, scooting myself into the same seat as him. There was a velvet curtain for privacy, and I drew it shut, along with the one that covered the large window. The man offered me a delicious smirk and a wink.

"Wanted me all to yourself, did'ya?"  
I huffed, annoyed with his implications. I brought my hand up to his chest again, and looked at him pointedly.

"How are you alive?" I demanded, fixing him with my most vicious glare. He grinned, and grabbed my hand with his own, despite the fact that it was covered in all sorts of bodily fluids.

"D'awh, well… If I told you that, I'd have to kill you…" I rolled my eyes, expressing my discontent with his humor. He sighed, and spoke.  
"Seeing as you're already dead, that part's over and done with. A doctor, in the Pale Reaches. He specializes in… Let's say, questionable surgeries. He brought me back to life, at a great price".

I considered this. I suppose it was possible, however far-fetched. There was one aspect, however, that did not correlate.

"If he gave you life… How did you board the train? You have to die to board the Infernal train – that's what the Conductor said".  
He grinned happily.

"Stowaway," he whispered. I was about to reply, when a booming, tinny voice sounded over an invisible PA system.

"Attention all passengers. We are now approaching the Pale Reaches. A ticket check will commence in 30 seconds, have all passes ready. Lack of a ticket will result in removal from the Infernal train".

The man turned to me quickly, hurriedly speaking under his breath.  
"Do you want to live again? Are you certain, that you want to live again?"

I nodded vehemently, gripping his hand with my own.  
"Yes, yes, please. Yes".

He held out his other hand, fingers outstretched.  
"Give me your ticket," he demanded. I handed it over quickly, and leant in as he whispered in my ear.  
"Now, we're going to have to get thrown off the train. We're in the Pale Reaches already; it can't be too hard to find Doctor Slaughter. This is the hard bit, though. See, once you leave the train – you die properly. The Infernal engine is keeping everyone alive – when you leave, all of your injuries are going to hit you, all at once. You _will _die. But if I can get you to Slaughter in time, and I really hope I can, you'll probably wake up, and be alive. It'll all work out fine… What was your name, again?"

A gloved hand pulled the curtain aside and held out a scanner.  
"Tickets, please".

"Bella," I said quietly, "My name's Bella".  
"Nice to meet you, Bella," he smiled, "My name's Jasper".

The scanner was waved forcefully under our noses.  
"_Tickets, please_".

"Hold tight," he muttered, before turning to the hand.  
"No tickets, sorry. We're stowaways. What are you gonna do to us, huh?"

The scanner was pulled back, and replaced with what looked like a single choker necklace, with a blinking red light. Jasper laughed.

"They aren't playing around, Bella. Alright, hold on".

And with that, he gathered my broken body up into his arms, and shoved an almighty kick into the curtained window. It burst open, and we were sucked out, thrown off the train. As we tumbled wildly through the air, I felt an immense _crack _of pain all throughout my body. I clutched Jasper's arms tighter, and died for the third time.

**You should probably just review. Tell me what I'm doing right - or wrong, whatever. Okay? Okay. **


	4. Slaughter

"Bella! Bella, honey?"

_Ugh, my head is fucking killing me._

A disembodied voice filtered through my foggy mind, reaching me where I lay entrenched in darkness, with a killer headache. The last I could remember was Jasper kicking a hole in the Infernal train, and the two of us getting sucked out into the Pale Reaches. If I was awake now… He must have found this 'Slaughter' character, and brought me back to life! I excitedly began attempting to mentally claw my way out of slumber, desperate to see my healed body and hear my beating heart. Actually, I could hear my heart already – thumpthumpthumping away inside my chest – wild, fast and out of control. But try as I might, I just couldn't find my way through the murk of unconsciousness, not even spurred on by my return to life. The voice returned, grating on my nerves and increasing the strength of the pounding in my head.

"Don't struggle, sweetie. The doctor is trying his best".

I tried to mumble a response, but my mouth would not move. I couldn't move anything. My attempts at making contact were starting to take a toll on my body, and I was bowled down by a wave of fatigue. Deciding that patience would probably be just as effective as struggling, I settled in to wait for my freedom, which gave me some time to mull over the events of the last however-long.

So I died.

Odd, I wasn't one of those people who had ever really stressed about their impending death. Never looked twice while crossing the road, always went swimming straight after eating. I knew that I would die one day, and I had just always figured that when it happened, it would be too late to change anything regardless. I wasn't a religious person – I didn't believe in Heaven, Hell, God, Satan, or even the freaking afterlife. I believed in what I saw, felt, and experienced. So I guess it did come as quite a surprise to wake up after the crash, in a completely fantastic, psychotic and probably bullshit environment. For all I knew, I could still be lying there on a wet, slippery road on the way to Forks. This could be my pre-death experience. There are millions of theories about it, how our lives that we're living is just us imagining a scenario right before we die. We can come up with a lifetime of memories in the space of a few seconds – creepy, right?

But I didn't believe in any of that. I was a girl of science – of fact. This was probably all just a really long, really fucking weird dream. Nothing more, nothing less. Soon enough I would wake up back in my bed at Mom's house, with her cooking up some horrendous concoction for breakfast and ready for her next wild adventure. Seeing as I have no interest or belief in superstitions, I'd happily fly out to Seattle and continue with my plans to live in Forks with Charlie. A little bit Groundhog Day, but I could swing it for sure.

So, if I was so adamant that this was all my imagination… Why did I desperately want it to be real? Oh, it wasn't that hard of a question. I'd grown up immersed in the world of fiction, with my nose always buried in some novel. I'd spent my entire life putting myself in the shoes of other people – in these magical, amazing fantasy lands that transcended belief – always wishing that I was the one going on the adventures that they were. And this was my adventure, right? This was my chance to finally live the life that I'd so desperately wanted to lead ever since I was a child. I shouldn't be questioning it. I should be blindly following along, racing through to the next part of the story. Because if it _was _all my imagination, I should be making the most out of it while I still could, right? Right.

With that, I resolved to no longer question anything. To take everything as it comes – to roll with the punches. Fuck logic, I would suspend belief while I had the chance. This decision made me happy; it was soothing not to have to worry about anything. The darkness that had previously been constricting and murky was now relaxing. I could float here in the void for a little while longer. Why not, right? With my new found peace, came the return of the voice.

"You can open your eyes now, Bella. You're okay, everything is okay".

So I did what the voice asked of me. I separated my lids, spent the customary five minutes squinting at the light that was burning my retinas, until I felt I could attempt to see. And when I did, boy. To say I was shocked would be an enormous understatement.

"Mom?!"

Renee was leaning over me with a concerned expression, tear tracks stained down her cheeks. I was in a small white hospital room, surrounded by various machines and orderlies. One man stood out from the rest, solely for the reason that he was utterly gorgeous. Tall and pale with ice blond hair, it was no wonder Renee was so concerned for me. She was probably trying to get into his pants, Phil be damned. And the easiest way to do that was to cling to the patient who he was treating.

Doctor Hot Stuff stepped through the small cluster of nurses and came to a rest at the foot of my bed, smiling. He tapped my left foot with his fingers, and reprimanded me lightly.

"Now, Bella. You gave us quite a scare for a while there".  
Renee giggled in response to his words, and watched him adoringly. I simply rolled my eyes. As I tried to speak, I found that it wasn't quite as easy as my initial exclamation. My throat was dry and closed up, and I could only muster a croak. A nurse caught onto my attempts quickly, and rushed over with a paper cup filled with water.

"Here, sweetie. Just a little bit".

Well aware of what would happen if I drank too much after deprivation, I took small sips until my throat was lubricated enough to enable speech.

"What…" I allowed myself another sip, "What happened to me?"

The doctor gave me a sympathetic smile, and Renee swooned.

"You were in a car accident, Bella. With your father, do you remember?"  
I nodded impatiently, and shot out another question.

"I know. Charlie – is he okay?"  
Renee cut the crap for a moment and allowed herself a moment of shame and pity. She placed a hand on my shoulder, and rubbed what was probably supposed to be a soothing pattern into my skin.

"Your dad… Your dad didn't make it, Bella".  
Of course, I already knew this. But it still cut me deep to realize that I would never see my father again. Unless… The Conductor. The Infernal Train. What _was _all that?

"How long have I been unconscious?" I demanded, an idea starting to reform in my mind. The doctor, puzzled, answered me quickly.

"A little under 48 hours. Why do you ask?"

I shut out the room so that I could think. That seemed to be about the amount of time that I had spent in wherethefuckever. Apparently, my unconscious min d had devised an imaginary world to deal with the pain and trauma that had been caused by the accident and by Charlie's death. Speaking of Charlie… He was still alive, in the other world. He might not know me as his daughter, but he was still there. I could still be with him. I just had to figure out how to glitch my brain, and get sent back there. Unconscious, right? Shouldn't be too hard. I've been out for two days, my finer motor skills and depth perception will be all out of wack. All I had to do was try and get out of bed, and I'd probably take myself out on one of those machines.

I was just preparing to make a go of it when a faint voice filtered in to the forefront of my head.

"_Bella, darlin'? It's done… You can wake up now, sweetheart"._

Jasper. Jasper could help me find the Conductor… Charlie. I had to get back there.

The room came swimming back into view, and the concerned masses stared down at me. I was starting to hyperventilate, and my heart was beating like a fucking bongo drum. Nausea swept through me, and I caught the eyes of the good doctor as I was pulled back through the void and into my imaginary world.

I awoke to find the exact same doctor looking down at me, but yet he was still so different.

He had the same blonde hair, and perfect skin – but he wasn't as _good _as he somehow was in the real world. His skin was pale, snow white and his eyes were a rusted, deep crimson. Spidery green veins crept across his temples and towards the creases of his eyes, and when he smiled that same sympathetic smile, rotted stumps of teeth peeked out from behind his cracked and bleeding lips.

So, this was Slaughter. The doctor who had restored life to me in reality, had become a demonic fucking _psycho_ in my imagination. God knows what that said for my psyche, honestly. I drug my eyes away from the horrific Slaughter to find Jasper, smirking down at me from my bedside.

"It was tricky, but we made you live again".  
I was stopped from responding by a disgusting, grunting little cough from the foot of my bed. The monster spoke, and his voice was weak and pitiful.

"There still remains the matter of payment, however…"  
He was rubbing his hands together in glee, and smiling down at the both of us. I turned to Jasper, and raised an eyebrow. He then addressed Slaughter.

"Whatever you want, we'll pay it".

Slaughter laughed maniacally.  
"Oh I know you will," he simpered, "Which is why I don't want your money. I need you to do something for me, children. A… Mission, if you will. You see, dears… I've grown tired of my humble dwelling, forced by the Queen of the Glacier to live out my existence in exile. The mountains cannot provide the power that I need. I will no longer hide myself away, nor perform cheap revivals on train jumpers like you".

Jasper simply nodded, and fixed Slaughter with a steely gaze. He was bargaining with him, I realized.  
"And what do you propose we do about that, monster?"

Slaughter snickered, and scratched at his ear with one long fingernail.  
"Naïve children. I propose that you deal with my little problem for me. You will travel through the Frozen Wastes and cross the Shivering Night until you reach Two Winter Castle. Once you have arrived, you will infiltrate the structure and find the Queen of the Glaciers. Then, you will take her heart and return it to me. Understood?"

I simply stared at Slaughter. Jasper stared at me.

"We'll do it," Jasper muttered, before grabbing my waist and helping me up off the bed. Slaughter smiled, and extended an arm towards a small door set into the rock wall.

"I hope you have a safe journey, travelers. And I _will _be seeing you soon".

Jasper transferred his hand to my own, and led me towards the door. He opened it onto a flat bed of ice, stretching on for as far as I could see. It wasn't dissimilar to the Howling Desert, just the other temperature extreme. It was if I could almost feel my limbs freezing up in the chill. He wrapped his arm back around my middle and pulled me close. His hot breath puffed against my ear as he spoke, sending a shiver through me that was not brought on by the cold.

"Welcome to the Frozen Wastes. We've got a long way to go, Bella".

**Your reviews have all been positively lovely, thank you very much!  
A couple more wouldn't hurt, right? Not that I'm trying to be greedy, or anything - I'm just interested in your opinion. (:**


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